"ROGER CLEMENS AND ANDY PETTITTE ARE THICK-BODIED STARTING PITCHERS"..."-NY Times, KEPNER

• Clemens and Pettitte are "THICK-BODIED?" So you're selling they're physically similar so therefore..... Right. The two have never had similar physiques, but the NY Times is the most important newspaper in the world, so they say what they want.

The opening of this NY Times article will be read and repeated as gospel around the world millions of times. Much of the rest of the article uses phrases, quotes and descriptions that equate Andy Pettitte's behavior for years with that of Clemens (get it?). Expanding on the tantalizing topic put forth by NY Times' columnist George Vecsey in his article yesterday about "off season" workouts between Andy and Roger, Tyler Kepner weaves a hypnotic yarn between Pettitte and Clemens that invites the reader to think their "workouts" (and all that implies) over long off seasons in Texas have been twins for years.

• NOT ONE WORD ABOUT PAUL BYRD IN THE PETTITTE-HAPPY NEW YORK TIMES. PAUL BYRD, FOR THEIR EDIFICATION, WOULD NOT DENY INJECTING HGH UP TO AND INCLUDING THE 2007 POST SEASON. DOES THE NY TIMES HAVE AN ADVANCE COPY OF HIS UPCOMING BOOK ABOUT HIS JOURNEY AS A CHRISTIAN?
• BY THE WAY, ANDY PETTITTE IS NOT UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR ANYTHING, NY TIMES, BE IT 'OFF SEASON WORKOUTS' OR ANYTHING ELSE AS MUCH AS YOU TRY TO MAKE IT APPEAR OTHERWISE IN ARTICLES LIKE THIS. WHATEVER ANDY WAS ACCUSED OF HE'S ALREADY ADMITTED. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO TALK ABOUT WITH PETTITTE. UNLESS YOU SEEK FAME AND FORTUNE, THEN ARTICLES LIKE THIS WILL HELP YOU A GREAT DEAL.

THE NY TIMES HAS BEEN EXQUISITELY SELECTIVE IN THEIR STORIES ABOUT THE HGH SCANDALS (WHICH THEY REFER TO AS THE STEROIDS SCANDALS). ON THE OTHER HAND, IT'S EASY TO WRITE GARBAGE TO DEFAME ANDY PETTITTE--NO ONE COMPLAINS, FANS DON'T CARE, THE YANKEES ARE OBLIVIOUS, AND WHOEVER REPRESENTS PETTITTE IS OUT TO LUNCH.

• Reference, NY Times article by Tyler Kepner, "Uncomfortable Scrutiny for Two Friends' Pitching Partnership," 1/6/08

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