If Paul Byrd Were a Yankee...

24/7 on all media platforms dripping with scorn and sarcasm would be things like:

• 1. 'Hey Paul, what brand of KY Jelly do you like best?' (see his 10/07 ESPN.com interview. It doesn't have to be something he actually admitted doing).

• 2. 'Paul Byrd is a liar, no one believes him. Pituitary problem, HA.' (Some media people actually suggested Byrd's story about his pituitary problem was legitimate. Their first impulse was to accept what he said, not ridicule him (Ken Rosenthal posed the idea and it was was picked up by Will Carroll. Some also believed him when he said MLB teams always knew about his "condition" as he stored his syringes and HGH in clubhouse fridges. That turned out to be false also--MLB said they didn't know about it and had no medical clearance for it). (Byrd also notes Mitchell is with the Red Sox).

• 3. 'Oh right, HGH was banned but not illegal whatever. He's a liar if he says he stopped taking it years ago. He probably used with the Yankees right up til the winning game in the post season against the Yahoos. That whole Yankee team is tainted, that victory really needs to be analyzed. Ha Ha.'
• 4. 'Now he's writing a book, too--there must be something illegal about that too, profiting from cheating. Ha Ha.'

• 5. Mike Lupica would demand Paul Byrd sit before Congress on television and sweat bullets.

Since Paul Byrd isn't a Yankee, none of this will happen.

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